Friday, December 26, 2008

Musings - 12/26/08

This holiday turned out really nice. I had Christmas dinner with one of my coven sisters and her family. I had forgotten what it's like to gather with a family. Especially a family who are happy and well-adjusted. My family was very chaotic and it was extremely stressful to gather with as there was much arguing and fighting. My father was very angry ALL the time, so everyone would walk around feeling as if we were on eggshells. We didn't want to set off my father.

As the years went on and we grew up, my sisters and myself ended up with men who were very much like my father. I was able to break away and end the cycle for myself. My sisters were unable to do so. My middle sister still is married to a very abusive man, so one of her daughters has repeated the cycle with an abusive man.

One way I broke the cycle was by moving away. I have lived several hundred miles from my family and have been happily divorced from my 1st husband for 30 years and now am fully happy with myself and what I am doing in my life. I have no need for an abusive mate, just so that I won't be alone. :-)

Anyway, that's why this dinner was so nice. Seeing everyone playing and laughing together was wonderful.

And I think perhaps I was able to send some of this good energy to my family. My mother said that their gathering was really nice and there was no fighting or anger this time. :-) I'm SO glad.

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